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Message-ID: <3361A39C.6757@sunynassau.edu>
Date: Sat, 26 Apr 1997 02:41:32 -0400
From: Richard Glass <glassr@sunynassau.edu>
Reply-To: glassr@sunynassau.edu
Organization: Nassau Community College
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To: ft-faculty <ft-faculty@www.polar.sunynassau.edu>
Subject: more bill gates/ ms bashing :-)
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Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being
sized up by God...
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure
whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped
society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you
also
created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never
done
before. I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."
Bill replied, "Well, what's the difference between the two?"
God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will
help your decision."
"Fine, but where should I go first?"
"I'll leave that up to you."
"Okay then," said Bill, "let's try Hell first."
So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear
waters and lots of beautiful women running around, playing in the water,
laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature
perfect. He was very pleased.
"This is great!" he told God. "If this is hell, I REALLY want to see
heaven!"
"Fine" said God, and off they went.
Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting
about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as
Hell.
Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision.
"Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told God.
"Fine," retorted God, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to
Hell. Two weeks later, God decided to check on the late billionaire to
see
how
he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a
wall,
screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by
demons.
"How's everything going?" he asked Bill.
Bill responded with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment,
"this
is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I
can't
believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the
beaches, the beautiful women playing in the water????"
"That was the demo," replied God.
--
(Dr\.\ )?R(\.|(ic((hard)|(ky))))\ Glass { printf("%s\n", "Ricky
Glass"); }
Email: GLASSR@sunynassau.edu
HTTP://www.matcmp.sunynassau.edu/~glassr
recursive (adj.) See recursive. ("The Devils DP Dictionary")
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