There are several useful guides available for how to review a paper in Computer Science. These are soberly presented, carefully reasoned and sensibly argued. As a result, they are not much fun. So, as a contrast, this note is a checklist of how not to review a paper. It details techniques that are unethical, unfair, or just plain nasty. Since in Computer Science we often present arguments about how an adversary would approach a particular problem, this note describes the adversary's strategy.
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