Whirlwind romance "unlikely to last" Experts have greeted news of Craig David's whirlwind romance with scepticism, claiming that it "will not last". According to Mr David, he first met "this girl" on Monday, yet by Wednesday he was engaged in carnal congress with her. Well-known agony aunt, Ask Marjorie, commented "It may seem like true love, but you have to ask yourself, Craig, if she goes all the way in two days, how long before someone else catches her eye?". Medical experts have been quick to join the debate. "If indeed he did make love on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday, then he would have to do more than chill on Sunday", commented Dr. Hook. "Constant genital intercourse over the course of four days will result in severe blistering and chafing. Chilling his bruised member in ice will go someway to reducing the pain and swelling, but really he should seek medical attention as soon as possible. A close friend of David's, a Mr. David Craig, 12, commented: "The thing with Craig is, is that he's basically full of shit. What really happened was he wrote this song on Monday, took it to Radio One on Tuesday, they played it on Wednesday, and Thursday and Friday and Saturday, and it was number one on Sunday. Which is hardly bloodly surprising considering the number of times it got on the radio." Craig David was apparently unavailable to comment, being engaged in another mammoth bout of love-making since he was, apparently, "Born to 'do it'". However, sources close to David commented, "Re-rewind, crowd say 'Bo! Selecta! Craig David all over your ". Er, right.