T-shirt slogan "inaccurate"

A crackdown on students wearing T-shirts with inaccurate slogans netted its
first success yesterday with the apprehension of Ms. Clare Pseudonym.
Miss Pseudonym was caught on CCTV in the Union wearing a shirt declaring her to
be a "sex kitten".  However, she was unable to produce any documentation
showing this to be the case, and there is strong circumstantial evidence
against her claim.

Pseudonym is currently single, and sources close to her ex-boyfriend were able
to confirm that the 'sex kitten' label was woefully misleading.  An
acquaintance who shared a kitchen with her in the first year said, "The only
remotely feline thing about Clare is the way she's so catty about people behind
their back.  I didn't think she even enjoyed sex."

A special unit has been set up to crack down on T-shirt related crimes.  
Those convicted have their mendacious clothing confiscated and instead must
wear a shirt which reads, "I am a dirty liar".  So far, a number of successful
prosecutions have been made, including:

* A "Floppy Chappy Until Kissed" who remains resolutely flaccid even after
prolonged smooching

* A fresher who proclaimed "Warning! This bitch bites" who apparently does not
bite, but in fact sucks, and subsequently swallows

* A large scale but inept attempt at impersonation involving groups of young
men entering the Union together, all claiming to be Ben Sherman.