Bogus prof suspended

A physics lecturer has been suspended after it was revealed that his
credentials are bogus.  Popular but eccentric Dr Who has been removed from
teaching duties and a full investigation will be carried out.  It emerges that
"the Doctor", as he liked to be known, changed his name by deed poll from Derek
Pickles to Dr Who, and has no academic qualifications beyond O-levels. 

This case has highlighted flaws in the system, which failed to catch this
charlatan earlier.  Dr Who was well known for persuading young female students
to become his "companions" and accompany him on his travels.  Frequently these
companions would be seen running out of Who's "TARDIS" -- a small cupboard,
which he inexplicably painted blue -- in a state of high anxiety.  Dr Who was
often heard to comment, "It's bigger on the inside." I bet that's what they all
say, eh girls.

Who's research also appears to be highly suspect.  He recently made the amazing
claim that he was able to travel through time.  However, investigation by
fellow scientists has revealed that Who actually possessed the lesser skill of
*thinking* he could travel through time.  Who was not available for comment at
time of press -- we could only a reach a person of significantly different
build and appearance who claimed to be Who.  Further details will be published
in a report tomorrow, entitled "Who's Who?".