The The Page

What is The? It's hard to say.

The is a work in a progress. The is a King in waiting. The is a mess. The is never going to be finished. The should never have been started. The is a definite article. The is the definite article.

With that said, you might like to look at the five episodes of The that have been written so far. Will episode six ever be finished? Will any other episodes be written? Who knows? I wouldn't hold your breath.

By the way, the only reason I have put these pages on the Internet is because they will be completely impossible to find (well, you try typing 'The' into a search engine and see where it gets you). Do not attempt to perform these episodes at home.

Episode 1 - Dreams In which we investigate whether getting what we want is what we want to happen. And we ponder whether the University of Lunn is too obscure.
Episode 2 - MurderIn which we ponder the media's attitude to and glorification of violence. And muse over the phrase 'breaking the ice at parties'.
Episode 3 - Love And DeathHere, we consider life's twin delights of love and extremely easy Scooby Doo gags. And the more astute of us wonder about how closely certain characters resemble the author.
Episode 4 - DonationsAfter a gap of year, nothing much has changed as this wry analogy for charitable giving demonstrates. Watch out for the stage direction involving Blondie.
Episode 5 - SixThen, barely two years later, perhaps the most complicated in terms of idiotic attempts to glue ideas together. Those with a grasp of German to match mine (which basically entails being able to say yes and no and count to ten) will appreciate that 'Sechs' is German for six.
Episode 7 - School Just when you thought that the saga of The was finally over, an episode which somehow manages to predict the effect of the computer game "The Sims" a whole two years after it was first released.

The End